Feeling Stuck: 3 things a coach might tell me

You may have noticed, I'm a little stuck. It's been over a week since my last post (and I usually have a rule against that). In fact, I notice I have several rules about blogging, which may be why I'm stuck right now. I don't know what you do when you're in this state, but I have a tendency to spend a lot of time pondering WHY I'm stuck.

I have my reasons. First I had a rule when I started about "themes." We started with blogs about ending poverty, then helping women, peace, and making a world fit for children. Then, sustainable living. Part of me could keep writing about sustainability forever. It's like peace. Once you pull on the string, you realize it's connected to everything else.

But, another part of me is having trouble deciding which of all the millions of other topics and ideas out there that are changing the world and trying to fit them into themes and connections, and threads, and what, I wonder do you, my audience, want to see?...You see, here I go spinning again.

If I had a coach right now... but wait, I am a coach. I think it's a common misconception that coaches, counselors, psychologists, and other life helpers can get themselves out of sticky spots more easily. I'm a human (a member of a global citizenry, remember) and for some reason, I can't help but get stuck sometimes, even though I should know what to do.

If I were my coach right now, I'd move me off of the "why, "what if", "oh, no" merry-go-round and I'd focus on 3 things:

1. Tell the truth about "what is". When in a breakdown, the first step is to notice you're in a breakdown. For me "what is" would look something like this: I really want to keep telling stories about all the cool organizations, people, and ideas that are changing the world and I feel overwhelmed at the writing, the publicizing, the trying to build community, and the possibility of failure, (which as a coach, I don't really believe in, but am still programmed to worry about), and I don't know what to do next. Whew. What a relief to get that out!

2. Ask what can be done now? Once I get this far, I'm usually okay again. There's always something that can be done now. The impossible takes a little longer, but it's still just a series of steps. For today, what can be done now is already done. I have stopped wondering why I was stuck and just wrote about being stuck. Also, one of the "things that can be done now" in any stuck place is to LET GO. This is my favorite possibility in the "what can be done now" category. Today, I am officially letting go of the themes.

3. Look for support, ask for help!. Asking for help is usually the step most of us don't like to take in the 3-part breakdown fix. But, sometimes just thinking about who could help, asking one person do to something small, or even asking the universe to come in and straighten things out can have a magical ability to help me take a few steps. Sometimes just having someone listen (or read, in my case) is enough.

But since you're here, if you'd like to help me, there are a few things I would ask for. Drop me a note in the comments or e-mail me and let me know: Do you know a story that would be perfect for 10 % more media about possibility? Would you like to suggest or write a story as a guest? What would you like to see more of (now that we're letting go of themes, we can go nuts)? I admit that I have the "small blog" envy of the big blogs who get lots of comments every day. I'm sure someday I won't be able to handle all the comments, but in the meantime just write and say "Hi". Please.

On the HumanKind action front, if you know anyone in Chicago, I'm still working on ways to work out my Wish for Will and welcome your ideas. And, soon, I hope you regular readers will help design HumanKind Challenge #4, for a BigCarrot submission. Okay, now I feel more excited than stuck.

WE FEEL FINE!
And, now that I'm feeling a little more free and excited, and a little less bound by self-imposed constraints, I can tell you about something cool that happened when I posted this blog. Jonathan Harris, artist/genius and speaker at Pangea Day, with Sepandar Kamvar, has been capturing feelings on the web since 2005 at We Feel Fine. So if you had been watching within a few hours of publication of this post, my feelings of stuck-ness, overwhelm, envy, free, and excited showed up on little dots and murmurs on We Feel Fine. Check it out.

After a minute or two watching the Madness or reading the Murmurs, I feel like I'm okay again. I was just having some feelings ;-). You can read more about We feel Fine here. I loved Jonathan's short explanation of We Feel Fine at Pangea Day here.

Here is what Jonathan and Spandar say about their cool project: "We Feel Fine is an artwork authored by everyone. It will grow and change as we grow and change, reflecting what's on our blogs, what's in our hearts, what's in our minds. We hope it makes the world seem a little smaller, and we hope it helps people see beauty in the everyday ups and downs of life."

Ups and downs--I can relate to that. Thanks for listening.

Comments

[Donna]

Chris,
Thanks for sharing all the great information. Your energy and dedication are a constant reminder to be our best selves.

[Liz]

Chris, you're doing a great thing on this blog, and when you post, you're adding something important to the world: your voice. Keep writing, and we'll keep reading. Much love.