World peace: two words that evoke tremendous longing and profound overwhelm in that part of the human heart that wants to see an end to suffering in the world. At HumanKind Media, we've been talking about possibilities in the face of seemingly impossible tasks in our world -- ending poverty, eradicating treatable diseases, and raising women's and children's status. But Liz and I were a little intimidated at the thought of taking on world peace. It's so big and seemingly impossible. And how would we even articulate what each of the many billions of people on the planet means by world peace?
We most easily describe peace by saying what it is not: conflict, abuse, oppression, war, and genocide. In the media we see protests, embargoes, sanctions, boycotts, people standing against the things that peace is not. A high school student, when I asked, said, "Peace would happen when someone surrenders." Argh.
I thought I could write a jaunty little blog about peace and say "simply put...la de da dee dee." Alas, there is no "simply put" in the question of peace. So, I called my friend Pam, a coach, meditation teacher, and former Zen lay monk whom I consider an expert on peace. (In fact, bookmark this great MP3-file, a five-minute guided meditation from Pam for when you can sit down for your own peace break. Stay for end if you can--it's worth it). Pam answered my questions this way: Peace is unity. Conflict, the opposite of unity, occurs when I say "I am different, or you are other." Other = enemy. Once we objectify someone (or some part of ourselves) as "other," we can justify almost any action.
"When you recognize you're similar," Pam says, "it's hard to do violence."
Recognizing we're similar -- sounds so easy. Well, yesterday, I began a tiny rant to my son in the airport about a young man -- opposite gender, different ethnicity, and way different fashion sense from me -- walking through the airport holding his three-sizes-too-big jeans up with one hand and carrying a nice, expensive carry-on with the other. My son, slightly shocked at my outburst, adopted his most accurate imitation of my voice, and said, "He's a member of humankind, just like us. Just because he has different clothes ..." And there in a moment was a simple example for me of the roots of war and the roots of peace. It was embarrassing, but a good reminder.
In her book Practicing Peace in Times of War, Pema Chodron says,
"If you could have a bird's eye perspective on Earth and could look down at all the conflicts that are happening, all you'd see are two sides of a story where both sides think they're right. So, the solutions have to come from a change of heart, from softening what is rigid in our hearts and minds. ... What I am advocating here is the courage to have a change of heart."
The change of heart I am trying to make in the 100 times a day I personally am offered a stop at the junction of the roads to peace and to conflict in my interactions with people, is to remind myself that we are connected. I ask myself: What do we both care about? What do we both do when we're hurting? In what ways could I connect to this person that open up possibilities other than turning away or entering into conflict? What possibilities lie in connection?
Because connection is what brings us to unity. Connecting with a stranger, on any level, brings you closer to unity with them, closer to peace. We've found lots of people to introduce you to who are working hard on possibilities for peace by making connections all over the world. To start, check out this wonderful project, OnBeing by Jennifer Crandall of the Washington Post. You'll find yourself connecting with strangers you would never have guessed you had anything in common with. It's several hours worth of friends you haven't met yet. Great practice for switching that "other" to "similar."
Even though establishing moments of connection and lasting, living peace throughout the world seems impossible, I've come to trust that at every turn, I will find my rays of hope. Already I've stumbled upon so many people standing up for things that peace is: self-awareness, community, tolerance, caring, connection. By sharing the many faces and acts of connection we come across, acts of peace, we form connections that reinforce our common denominator: We're all beings that fear harm and seek love. (How's that for a valid connection? Thanks again, Pam.) These acts of sharing repeated often enough by enough people in enough creative ways may bring about that holy grail of healing the world: peace.
In the meantime, I'm looking at my own changes of heart. Where can I soften to meet what is similar in myself and the baggy-pantsed young man, or the woman who's taking too long in the grocery line? How can I connect to the neighbor who doesn't seem neighborly, my child with whom I disagree, or my mother who seems so different from me, but isn't really? I'd love to hear what you're learning along those lines. Comment, or e-mail me at chris [at] humankindmedia dot com.
Peace,
Chris
Stumble It!
It used to be so easy for me to be tolerant when I lived by the maxim "moderation in all things" and never took any strong views about political and ideological issues, keeping a moderate or even agnostic position whenever possible. Then I started reading the news, talking about politics, and suddenly I saw all this injustice and I wanted to stop it, I wanted to convince other people that they needed to care about stopping it. Some of my family members suddenly in my eyes began to look pretty close-minded, intolerant, even bigoted. I'm still not sure how to handle this "awakening". Lately I've been giving some serious thought to what the virtues of love and compassion really mean. I suppose I am learning that tolerance means something deeper than believing that everyone's view point is of equal value. I like your idea that standing for something rather than standing against something is the way to peace and tolerance.
Thank you for this post.
Posted by: Keely H. | November 28, 2007 at 09:56 AM